Be Ye Kind One to Another

Dear Sisters,

Greetings in the precious name of Jesus! The Lord has been speaking to us about being kind at home and we would like to share it with you. We pray it may be a blessing to you as you read it. (Note: Coquetta’s parts of this article are italicized.)

How often do we find ourselves being kind, polite, and gracious to our friends and neighbors only to feel tired and irritable when they leave toward our brothers and sisters and the rest of the family. Is it because it is so much effort to be kind to someone or is it that we feel like since it’s “just family,” we don’t need to guard our words and actions as we do when others are around. Do we love our friends and neighbors more than our family? Most girls, I think, would say they loved their family more. It is easier to be kinder to our friends because we don’t live with them all the time and know their weaknesses. But the Lord has grace for us to get along with the people we do live with. Namely, our father, mother, brother and sister. We may think, why does someone in my family always have to irritate me? But remember, that if we never had any trials we would never grow. The Lord will turn the trials into blessings, if we let Him. Or else they will get just more and more irritating. When something irritates us, or doesn’t please us exactly, we just need to ask the Lord what He wants us to get from this trial. We can be sure He will show us. Sometimes, in mercy to us, because we don’t see ourselves, He will allow an embarrassing situation to happen to us and humble us down. Then He won’t leave us alone, and, if we don’t get in the “blaming shape of mind,” He will show us how to gain the victory, where before we failed of His grace. I’ve learned that a lot of the time if I would just give in right away then it is not nearly so irritating as when I contended for my way and didn’t get it. What I mean is that when we humble down and aren’t selfish, (thinking about only your desires), it is easier not to be irritated because we are not focused on what we want. Also if it doesn’t concern you, there is no reason for you to be irritated.

The Lord has so many good things in mind for us if we will just let go and stop trying to do it our way! It would be a pretty sad thing if the Lord just left us alone! I’m thankful He has promised to never do that! He is so patient with us! The Bible instructs us to follow Him as our example; if we keep following Him, He will eventually lead us to the point where the things that bother and irritate us now, will be behind us. We want to get to the place where we can turn every thing over to Him—the fact that your sister always leaves her side of the room messy and your brother always leaves his jobs half done so you have to go back and do them for him. Ask the Lord for longsuffering, because, after all, someone is having forbearance with you.

We want to get all the Lord has for us in this; we surely don’t want to lack grace when the Lord freely gives it to us! The following situation is a familiar one between a grace-lacking sister and brother. Your brother comes in from the chicken yard. He forgets to wipe his boots on the mat or to take them off. He tracks mud in from the two-day rain across your beautiful, freshly-mopped floor. You forget that your friend did the same thing an hour ago, the only difference being she hadn’t been in the chicken yard. You start to yell at him to take off his boots and look what he has just done to the floor! He probably will answer something defensive and clump upstairs. After a few minutes reflection, to your shame you will realize that you have failed again.

There is something better for us than this. We may wonder why we usually have plenty of grace when friends are over and not with our brothers and sisters. First remember that “a soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” If you had said in the situation above, “John, will you please take off your boots, I just cleaned the floor and would like to kept it that way for a while if I can,” John would probably feel ashamed of himself, take off his boots and clean the floor. Then you would have a blessing in your heart. And if John didn’t respond that way, still in your heart you would have a blessing because you did what was right!

If John had tracked in the mud while your friend was here, chances are you would not have yelled at him or gotten upset like did when only the family was present. You may say, “Oh, I would not want to embarrass my brother by correcting him in front of a friend. But really down inside you do not want your friend to know that you act that way toward your brother. You would like her to think that you are a kind, sweet, gentle girl under provocation—like the way you always act when she is with you. I don’t mean that it is right for us to go without grace when we are with our friends. We need it then too. Our usual manner when they are here, is to put on a front, instead of making things right in our attitude toward the family. If we really want help, ask the Lord to take that front away. He will help us start building the characteristics we need to have in our lives, such as gentleness, patience, purity, and trueness at home. It will not happen over night. Every day there are trials and the victories for them, if we will act in such a way as to win them. We all have certain weaknesses. Every battle we fail to win, that certain weakness becomes weaker and the next time we have a trial in that area, it will be a little harder to win the victory. If we keep failing in that area, it will be harder and harder to get the victory that is there for it. Consequently, we will be very weak in that area. God has all the help we need to make all of our weak points strong. No matter how trying, irritating, annoying, aggravating, bothersome, or maddening the situation, God has all the grace we need to gain the victory! “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”* (2 Corinthians 12:9) Upon reflecting on some of the trials that I’ve failed in, I’ve often seen where if I’d had more of the grace of God, I would have gained the victory and been stronger; many times if I’d just spent more time with God, I would have had more of His mind in how to respond to the present trial. Sometimes we have easy days, when nothing seems to go wrong, but we really do not grow that much, whereas when we have trials we do. There are things inside of me that I don’t even know about, but God does. Just a few weeks ago I learned of some pride which had been in my heart since I was little that I never suspected was there. Trials purge (take away), the dross (things in us other than the things of God), and put things of true value in our hearts.

You are not alone as you try to please your Heavenly Father in this way. We are learning how to please Him and be true princesses in His Kingdom as many other dear sisters are.

We are glad to report this is not just a dream—it is a reality, for you too! You can make excuses and say, “Well, I was born with this temperament. I can’t help acting this way.” But if you do, your heart won ’t have the precious blessing that the Lord gives to those who gain the victory.

Praise the Lord, there is victory!

Love to all of you,
From two princesses in the Kingdom,
Abigail and Coquetta

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men do to you, do ye even so to them.”* (Matthew 7:12)

“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly [or sisterly] love; in honor preferring one another. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”* (Romans 12:10,18)

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”* (Proverbs 15:1)

“And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all me.”* (1 Thessalonians 3:12)

“And God is able to make all grace abound toward you: that ye, always having sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work.”* (2 Corinthians 9:8)