The Battle of Two Wills
There were many changes to be made in the Hill household before it could be running smoothly. The children’s wardrobe was low, their father being a careless buyer and the girls being inexperienced in making and mending garments. Austin had anticipated this state of affairs when he had so carefully saved his own wages till he should come home. But it was not long until his little hoard was gone. He had also had to buy a number of things for the house to make it comfortable and at all homelike.
Henry Hill had a most comfortable feeling to know that there was someone at home who was responsible for the children, so he took many opportunities to be away. In fact he felt better away with some of his friends than when at home with Austin. It is not a pleasant thing for any father to feel that the serious eyes of his own son rest upon him in disapproval and reproof. Every sight of the boy made him feel uncomfortable and as if he did not come up to what was expected of him. Austin was not a fellow to speak out his reproofs, but he thought them and his eyes told what his heart was saying. Every week found him and his parent farther and farther apart—if such were possible.
Austin expected no sympathy and asked for none from either his brother or father in the way he was taking. He perhaps went to the opposite extreme and was so indifferent to what they thought that it had the effect of antagonizing them. It is at least a fact that there was no feeling of sympathy nor cooperation between them, and that antagonism grew until it was almost open warfare between him and his father. He felt such a repugnance toward his father and a hatred of the way he was taking that it continually showed out in his attitude toward him. In later years Austin could understand better, but now he was doing only what he believed necessary to protect his own soul from the discouraging influence.
Partly because he always liked to shirk responsibility, and partly because he and Austin had so few thoughts and feelings in common, the father stayed away from home more all the time. To this Austin was not averse, for it gave him more time with the children.
While Austin had been gone so long, his father had been in the habit of inviting in men like himself, and they had often played cards and drank till far into the night. Frequently the wee small hours of morning had found them still busy with their cards and bottles. When Austin came home, he could hardly endure to have a thing like this happen with the little children in the house. He had no right to forbid his father, but he did let him know how he felt about it. The result had been that the father felt most uncomfortable to have his associates gather at his home any longer.
Austin usually retired early with the children, and his father became aware of this. He had missed his social evenings with his friends, and wished to have them again, so he had invited three of the “boys” to come rather late, after all the children were in bed, and spend an evening together. It happened that Austin had gone out that evening and did not get back till late. When he came in, he was much surprised to find the four men occupying the kitchen table with their cards. They had also in some way obtained drink.
With a quick searching glance at the table to see if there were signs of gambling, Austin went upstairs without a word. But so strong was his influence and disapproval that it killed all the interest, and the men all left.
Mr. Hill sat alone, after they had gone, with the same feeling he used to have when his own father had caught him doing something mean. He rankled at the thought of this boy setting himself up as judge. He thought he ought to be the master of his own house. He did not reason that Austin had said nothing, that he was only battling with the boy’s thoughts. That night he determined that Austin should learn to keep his place. It was preposterous, he thought, that he could not entertain his friends as he pleased.
Austin’s feelings after he had reached his room were as serious and positive as his father’s, but he took an entirely different view of the whole matter. The question with him was how he should put a stop to such carousing in the house. He wanted to bring up the children in right paths, and how could that be done if they had to be thrown into such influence? It would be a matter of only a short while till Harry would be old enough to begin enjoying these evil associates. So while his father was contemplating how he should show Austin his place, Austin was wondering how he should be able to show to his father’s deceived heart something of what his duty was.
“You thought yourself pretty smart last night,” Henry said to Austin the next morning in his surliest voice.
“I was not spying, but was only out to prayer meeting and came in a little late,” answered the boy.
“Looks like a man ought to have a right to entertain his friends in his own house without being ordered about by a boy,” continued the man in a growling manner.
“Nobody was ordering you about, so far as I know. I am sure I said nothing,” Austin replied. Now was his time, he thought, to explain himself. “But I do think it is no example for you to set before the children to have such a crowd in,” he said.
Here the conversation stopped for the time, but the feeling of antagonism only grew by the encounter.
Mr. Hill had promised to support the family; but Austin, when he had gotten everything to going smoothly, saw no reason why he should not work also, rather than stay at home all the time. With his help morning and evening it was not difficult for the girls, now fourteen and twelve years old, to do the work nicely.
This was a welcome decision to his father, and soon it was the old story, Austin working and giving all his wages to the support of the family, and his father helping only as was positively necessary.
It was not many weeks after Austin’s return home (for changes came rapidly in this household) that the father had forsaken his job and was again wandering about, leaving the family on Austin. It was a serious outlook for the boy. No longer did he entertain the optimistic view of life that he had held in the beginning of his experiences. When he was fourteen, he felt as if he should be able to support the family like a man, now at sixteen he knew that he could never do that and keep them together in the home besides. It took too much of his time and ambition trying to train the children and direct their minds in the right channels. His father was drinking all he could obtain, and that was liquor of a very bad kind. In all, the outlook was serious as the summer drew to a close. Just what the winter would bring for him and his charges he hardly knew.
He had followed the advice of Pastor Bennet and had sought out a congregation with whom he met in worship. He had passed by the richer, finer church, and sought to find among the more humble congregations one that would be spiritual. Also, he wanted to go where he could hope to take the children and have them look presentable. He hardly hoped to be able to dress them for a wealthy place. Every week showed Austin more clearly the battle that must be waged, not of fists or of tongues, but of wills, in the home. The children were growing older, and they, too, had lost for the father that feeling of reverence and respect which is right. They had been more than a year away from Austin’s influence and restraint, and while they out of sheer thankfulness yielded themselves to him when he returned, yet as the weeks went by Austin saw that he should have a very big undertaking on his hands just to hold them in control. Besides this was his father’s antagonism. The men did not quarrel, but cutting and sneering remarks, indifference to his wishes, and a general atmosphere of hostility prevailed in his father’s presence, while Austin stood against all this determined to hold his points, and if possible keep the home clean. Gradually Austin’s influence in the home prevailed, and because of this, no doubt, his father was found more often away.