Losses and Gains

How strangely things work out in life. The companion who had stood by in the dark hours of the past weeks was compelled to be a witness of the healing power of God in the life of the young girl she had so faithfully cared for. But she would not be fair with God, and turned her back on God’s truth. Her life no doubt would have been wonderfully blessed, but she would not receive it. Instead of rejoicing and accepting this great experience and giving the honor to God, prejudice and an opposing spirit entered her heart, and she reasoned that, although it was all right to receive healing, it was quite another thing to remain on for a season. There was, however, one thing she could do, and that she did—return to her home.

The leader of the small group, seeing the situation, and realizing the circumstances, wrote to her uncle in Woodburn, Oregon. J. L. Green was a pioneer minister of the church of God and the first to bear the message of this truth in its simplicity to that region. In that day the lot of those who stood out for the high ideals presented were not only ostracized, but were persecuted by professing Christians because they taught that when we are born into the kingdom of God, then and then only are we converted. Also we need not join any man-made organization but live true to God and our fellow men.

This very simple Bible truth was so different from the rules set up by men in the various sects and denominations that it brought much persecution in those early days. Realizing this, the kind uncle mailed two tickets with an invitation for the two girls to come at once. Living in this Christian home, surrounded by loving Christian friends, and receiving encouragement and knowledge day by day, she grew stronger in body and established in the great Bible truths so new and vital to her soul. Perhaps the miraculous change in her body was no greater than that wrought in her new outlook on life.

Day by day the Bible was opened and the truths it contained set before her, breaking in upon her soul and bringing joy and peace never known before. Here in this haven she learned anew that God not only forgives sin and makes the repentant soul a member of the great Body, the Church, but that when we humble ourselves and present our bodies on an altar of consecration, He sets them apart as a holy gift. He sends down the loving Holy Spirit, cleansing the heart of inbred sin, planting His image on our soul, and filling us with the Holy Spirit and the love of God that we may live a clean holy life in this present world.

With real joy she received what was set before her, steadily increasing physically until in normal health again. But the time came when she felt it her duty to return home. Leaving these new friends now was like parting with her own loved ones. The day came when the last goodbye was said, and she set her face homeward, traveling from the state of Oregon to Iowa. She had been absent from her own home for two full years. With gladness and thankfulness, her father received her back in the midst again. God alone had done this, and he was duly thankful. But as time wore on, very soon there came problems.

“Father”, said Faith one day, “I cannot join one of the denominational churches as I once did. I now know that according to the Bible we are spiritually born into the Church, the body of Christ, and there is no salvation for the soul in the mere act of joining. Nowhere in the Bible are we instructed to do so. This is a plan made by men to take men into the church. I would have to act against my honest convictions of what is the will of God to do this.”

“What has come over you, Faith? Is not the church of your parents good enough for you? This group of fanatical Christians have led you away from your own childhood teaching and so separated you from your parents.”

“Father, let me explain, please. When we are born into a family here on earth, do we not automatically belong to that family? Do we have to join it after we are born into it? Are we voted in a membership in any certain family? Or does the fact of our physical birth make us a member? As it is in the physical, so it is in the spiritual family of God.”

“You have become a fanatic in this new teaching you have accepted,” said her father, bitterly.

It was but a short time after that an epidemic of quinsy sore throat broke out in the community, and many children and adults went down with it. Among these was Faith herself. Her father insisted that she call the family doctor. This was a hard test, for she had resolved in her heart that if God could heal when four physicians had given her up to die, He could also heal minor cases and lighter afflictions. Here again was conflict. It seemed that at every step of the way new trials and tests arose that required a definite stand for God right here in the home that for years had been a family of church-going people.

So, in the very best way she knew, she explained that when Christ was on earth, He went about healing all the sick that were brought to Him. Also the Bible states that He is “the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever,”* (Hebrews 13:8) that He has faithfully promised to supply all our needs, and is the Great Physician to all who will believe.

“That,” said her father, “was back in the early history when science had not been able to help men so much, and they had not the knowledge sufficient to take care of the ills of mankind. But now,” said he, “God in His mercy has provided other means and expects us to use them.”

“I, too, believe that God has provided, through His mercy, science for those who do not know His word and even for those who are weak in the faith, but I also believe that He expects His true children to believe and trust Him. Do we not read in the Psalms, ‘Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases’* (Psalm 103:3)? Father, I must trust God for my healing and leave the case in His hands. If He can heal tuberculosis when four physicians have given up, can He not heal this lighter affliction?”

“There is but one answer,” said her father, “and this choice must be made as soon as possible. If you will not consent to call in a doctor when you need one, as other people do in this community, if you will not be willing also to dress in more fashionable clothing instead of the plain and unattractive garments you have been wearing, and if you will not give up the fanatical teachings you have learned and accepted from those peculiar people, you must go from the shelter of your home. If you fail to comply in this, you are no more welcome under this roof.”

Stunned by the harsh demand made upon her, her mind reverted back through the years of childhood to the good mother lying day by day on her bed of suffering, yet teaching, counseling, helping, and encouraging. But now she was no longer in the land of the living to plead mercy in this case. She looked at the familiar scenes of the home; every article of furniture was a very part of childhood days, like an old friend. Now under the awful ultimatum, each seemed to bind her heart to this dear place and to cry out to stay. And now she was being compelled to choose—not for a day, not for a season, but for a long, long time—between love, shelter, and all that home could mean, and her wonderful experience with the Lord. To stay meant literally to give up the very profession of the things she now believed. She was far away from all the dear friends who might have spoken the word of comfort and strength. Now she had been asked to sacrifice the very truths that had brought her back as it were, from the grave, set her feet on a brighter trail for Heaven, and given her new light on the grand truths that after two years of faithful study and service in Oregon had become a very part of her life.

“What shall I do? What would Jesus do?”

Down through the years, these questions have been wrung from the lips of many pilgrims on that narrow road to Heaven.

Summoning inner strength that would help her surmount the aching void in her heart and put down the longing to hold on to the dear things of home, she made her choice. She did not dare forsake the truth so vital to the very soul. Sick in body, but with confidence in the love of God, and sick in heart, she arose and began to gather her clothing and the very few possessions she would be able to take with her. Truth has ever been high-priced, and she realized this as she sadly departed from her home. She knew not where to go.

She managed to get to the railway station in Cornell, carrying her suitcase. Sitting there alone in the station, she spread out a newspaper before her and read the local advertisements for help. She must trust God to heal at once for there was no alternative now. At last she read the advertisement for help in the kitchen of a local hotel. There was no place to worship in Cornell where she could hear the full gospel, and there were no longer evenings to be spent in the company of loved ones.

As soon as possible, she saved enough money to travel to Denver, Colorado, where God had so graciously healed her. This, however, was not the first but the second blow she had received because of her stand for truth. The young man who had waited faithfully for her recovery had finished his education and become Professor of Mathematics and Oratory. He was ready to start a home and claim the companion of affection. For his sake, she had carried on an extended correspondence, telling him of the wonderful things that had come into her life with the experience of the healing of her body. After all, this was the same Bible they both loved and believed, with the same message of truth, though hidden under the ritual of man-made organization.

He was a young man of high principles and quite ambitious to make good in life, and one that any young girl might well be proud to have walk by her side as she journeyed through life. There had been no discord between them when she was a member of the local Baptist Church, and he a Methodist. But this strange new teaching said that one must leave the bondage of sectism and the form and ritual of the nominal church of today and come out clear and stand alone on the experience of salvation and the new birth in the kingdom of God. Neither should one join any man-made organization.

This he firmly stated he was not willing to do, neither at that time, nor ever in his life in the future. No, not even for the love of the only girl he had hoped to one day make his wife.

How dark some days can be! And how deep are the waters we must pass through on our way to the Heavenly home. How heavy the heart, how slow the step some days. God help us count the cost. Are you, dear reader, willing to pay the price? Standing alone with every loved tie in her life ruthlessly rent, one by one, while still in her twenties, with nothing definite ahead, and home, loved ones, sweetheart turning their backs on her, she had made her decision. A decision that shut out of her life forever the only man she ever loved.

Someone has said, “’Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”1 And, as she and I sat together talking over the sad days of the past, she said, with a gentle smile, “Yes, many people have asked me if I never had a sweetheart, and if I ever saw anyone I could have loved. I can truly say that my life has been fuller and richer for the love that came into it in my earlier years. Also, I feel it has enabled me to sympathize with those about me in my work through the many years as I could not have done had I not gone through the sorrow and loss that came in my girlhood through love of a good man.”

So with the door shut to love, and the door to that haven of all hearts—home—closed firmly against her, she turned her face westward once more, working in the mission in Denver, Colorado, for four years. Here she labored and waited for another door to open, the magic door that must open before she could enter the mission field. Many tests and trials awaited her as she labored for God in this new field, working with those who had led her into this great experience. It was the day of bicycle riding, and she often rode out along the country roads. One day while out riding, she accidentally fell and bruised her ankle bone, but paid no attention to this minor accident.

Soon the place that had been bruised became dark, and the limb was swollen beyond all proportion, growing rapidly worse and extremely painful, so that she was confined to her bed for some weeks. Her friends urged her to have an examination at once to find out the trouble, and she at last consented. After the examination, one doctor said that the bone would have to be scraped, but two other physicians insisted that the leg must be amputated as tuberculosis had set in. This she would not consent to.

Time and again ministers and laymen came to anoint and pray for her, but through it all she grew steadily worse, until they despaired for her life. Then groups of friends would take turns sitting by her bedside, not knowing what else to do but to cheer her last days. Gangrene set in, and the time seemed short. There came a night when they thought the end would come. The watchers, in love and pity, did what they could and waited. Finally one of them leaned over compassionately and asked, “Is there anything we can do for you, Faith?”

“Yes,” came the weak response, “anoint me and pray for me.”

In the long course of that illness, she had been anointed and prayed for twenty-seven times. But who had the heart to deny the request of a loved friend? Once more they anointed her and prayed, perhaps with less faith than at any previous time. But amid this awful suffering, Faith Stewart had never given up, and as they prayed once more, she felt the power of God, the healing power, touch her body, and she quietly said, “I am healed. Let everyone go to bed, and I will sleep and rest.”

They were very reluctant to go, but finally all retired save one friend who insisted on lying down in the sick room until morning. That night sound, healing sleep came, and she rested all night. When she wakened, she looked and felt perfectly normal. She arose and dressed and went into the kitchen where the hostess was preparing breakfast. The latter had just lifted a skillet of fried meat from the stove when she looked up and saw Faith Stewart standing in the door. She dropped the skillet in her surprise, and the meat fell to the floor.

For three days all went well, and there was rejoicing over the goodness of God in that home.

Then suddenly, Satan, who is more real than most people realize, and who sends a test to those whom God blesses to rob them of the victory, tested her faith severely. The foot swelled again, and the awful pain came back. When friends came to go to the services at the church, it was almost an impossibility for her to go.

Claiming the healing which God had surely done, she went, but suffered all that evening. She went to her room to retire for the night in terrible suffering. Then came the suggestion: “Take off your hose and look at the place on your ankle and see if it is not as bad as it ever was.” But she had been healed before and knew how Satan always tries to snatch away the victory by suggesting doubts of God’s healing power, and also that he has the power to send the symptoms of the sickness back on one. But she also knew that he does not have the power to send the actual sickness on anyone God has touched for healing unless they themselves weaken and listen to him, accept the doubts, and yield to his suggestions. This grieves God, and He cannot honor faith that wavers between Him and the power of the enemy. Then and then only, the healing is lost.

So when she retired that night, she just slipped into bed under the cover, and pushed off her hose under the quilt, never even glancing at the painful foot.

“I know in spite of this that God has healed me, so I will not yield to the suggestion of Satan. I will take my stand on the promises of God. I know that ‘he that believeth on him shall not be confounded.’* (1 Peter 2:6)”

She fell asleep, and from that day that ankle was perfectly normal.