Defensive or Defended?
Why do I get in trouble for trying to defend what is right?
Example: Jody was playing outside with her little brother and sister. Polly started jumping on the trampoline and Jerry wanted to get on. “Stop jumping!” he called out several times, but Polly didn’t listen. So Jody climbed onto the trampoline and grabbed Polly to make her stop. That made Polly mad and she started to scream. Then Jody got in trouble because she wasn’t playing peacefully. But it was all Polly’s fault!
Has this ever happened to you? Maybe you wonder why you always seem to get in trouble when you are just trying to defend what is right.
The trouble is that when you react to a problem with anger or selfishness—like yelling or grabbing—you are doing wrong, too. Maybe your outburst solves the problem. But then there is another wrong-doer that needs to be corrected—you! The Bible says that “the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20) That’s because God isn’t just interested in your sister sharing the trampoline. He wants you to respect each other because you love and care for each other. He wants your attitude to be right on the inside (1 Timothy 1:5).
If someone is doing something wrong and they don’t listen when you talk to them peacefully, there is something you can do. Go to the person in charge. Your parents, for example. If it seems like they might not be noticing the problem, tell them about it and ask them for help. Your part is to trust them and obey.
What should I do when I’m feeling defensive?
Example: What a mess! I hate it when others don’t clean up after themselves…. They need to do their own picking up instead of expecting me to!
I’ve felt the same way. It is easy to get defensive when others don’t respect the things that seem important to you. You probably feel like complaining or pointing out the problem to them. But is that the attitude you should be having? When you are thinking about someone else being selfish, who are you really concerned about?
Yourself!
Maybe not. But now its your job. So stop thinking about the other person’s problems. Focus on your own attitude. Jesus said to bless those that curse us—not complain about them. Remember, He cares more about us having a clean attitude than having a clean floor.
Yes, and I’m glad that Jesus wants to help us clean up! Like this: “Here are some of my dirty complaints and hard feelings that need to go in the trash, Jesus. Wanting things my own way made me forget that other people need love and care, too. Please help me to show them that I love them!”
What about when bad things keep on happening?
Example: Mom said to not eat any more cookies. But when she is gone your brother grabbed some. And its not just that—he always is lying or cheating, and he hardly ever gets punished. Something should be done!
What can you do? You can take the problem to God. He certainly sees the things that are going wrong—and He wants to help you do what is right. Do you believe that God is your defender and that He cares about you?
That’s why we need to fill our mind with God’s promises!
Here are a few to look up in your Bible:
- when you feel afraid
Psalm 27:1; 56:3; Isaiah 12:2; 41:10 - when you feel worried
Isaiah 26:3; John 14:1; Philippians 4:6-7 - when you feel stressed
Matthew 5:44-45; 1 Peter 5:6-7 - when someone is doing wrong
Psalm 37; Romans 12:17-21; 1 Peter 3:9
Ask God to help you do your part. Remember, that means having the right attitude yourself, and trusting God to take care of the problems.
Many songs remind us of the peace and hope we have because God cares for us. Sing them! When we thank God for caring for us and our problems, we are doing two important things at once—we are giving Him the problem and filling up our minds with His goodness!
So when things go wrong, how can you stay on the right side of the problem? Remember that God is your defense and obey Him! Wrong-doers are always trying to defend themselves. Those who put their trust in the Lord and His power are really the only ones that are safe. Which one are you going to be?
God’s System of Justice
1. GOD is the judge that makes sure justice happens. He is the only one wise enough and big enough to take care of protecting what is right and punishing what is wrong. And guess what? He has promised to do that.
2. PROTECTING what is right is really important. God created you to be pure and good, but the devil wants to ruin you with sin and evil. That is why God has planned a way for you to be defended. It starts with your parents, who are given the responsibility to protect and teach you what is right. But they can’t protect you from everything that is wrong—especially sinful thoughts. Only God sees all the problems and dangers (even the ones you don’t know about!). Best of all, He has really good plans for your life. That’s why Jesus came to save you from sin and give you His power to live right!
3. VENGEANCE is a big word for making sure bad behavior is punished, or “getting revenge.” And God takes that job really seriously (Deuteronomy 32:35). The reason He doesn’t let us do the revenging (and He actually tells us to do good to the bad people, instead—Romans 12:19-21) is because He wants to protect us from evil. When we try to get revenge, we end up doing wrong ourselves. And since wrong-doers will be punished in an eternal lake of fire, God wants to keep us far away from that! Only by turning away from evil and receiving God’s power of forgiveness and love can we be saved from that awful punishment.
4. So what is YOUR JOB? No, it’s not making others behave. But you can humble yourself and ask for help to change your own behavior. Ask yourself: have I done something wrong or hurt someone else? What is the right thing for me to do right now? If it seems too hard to do, remember God is ready to help you!