Calling a Council

The lady’s sister, Mrs. Apostasy, wrote them happy congratulations, assuring them that she would be present at the wedding. A little later, some of Miss Vanity’s relatives arrived by the midnight train. Their names were Mr. Lying, Mr. Policy, Mr. Love-the-World, Mr. No-Conscience, and Mr. Lustful-Eyes. Mr. Hypocrisy felt a little ashamed of his new relatives, but as he had engaged to Miss Vanity, therefore he was bound to accept those of her family, and do the best he could to conceal their identity. Shortly after their arrival, Mr. Sincerity and the faithful ones received a rude awakening, by strange muttering voices and a horrible stench which almost overwhelmed them. This stench came from the detestable things brought in the baggage of some of these relatives. Upon their asking Mr. Hypocrisy as to the trouble, he, with a smile and look of astonishment, declared that all was well; and ordered them to be quiet and trouble him no more on this matter. This again brought a rustling about among the faithful ones, and this time Mr. Hypocrisy was quite puzzled as to what to do. “Because,” said he, “if we use the club, it will only stir up the more inquiry as to this thing which is hidden among us, and if not, then we will be under suspicion of having tried to deceive.

Whereupon he called his newly made friends in council as to what to do. Now as they were very proud of his position as a minister to the faithful, and had looked forward to the time when they should by him be introduced into the congregation, therefore they put their wits to work to consider what should be done. Mr. Policy was appointed chairman, and Mr. Lying, president of the meeting, they both being expert in such matters. That very hour Mr. Hypocrisy had sustained a very severe attack of heart trouble, not for concern of the faithful ones, but because of the fact that ever since he had become friendly with Miss Vanity he had been troubled with misgivings as to his prestige and his purse, until now he realized that unless something were done he should lose both. Then did Mr. Policy stand forth and begin to speak.

“Brethren, this is a critical hour to which we have come, especially since Mr. Hypocrisy, our faithful kinsman, is about to be put to shame before those who hitherto have esteemed him very highly; and this we know that it is on our account that this humiliation is about to come upon him. Therefore anything that we can do to protect him from this awful shock, we feel duty bound to do.”

Then said Mr. Lying, “I believe I can help if the particulars of the case can be presented to me so that I can make my coverings to fit.” Then Mr. Love-the-World and his brothers, Lustful-Eyes and No-Conscience, both agreed to do what they could.

Then did Mr. Hypocrisy recover himself enough to place the matter before them, saying, “Dear friends, I cannot express my sorrow that you should have received such a cool reception from my flock. It is quite out of place, but, as they are very profitable to me, I will have to ask you to bear with their narrow-mindedness for a time at least. Of course it is through my teaching that they received those notions in the first place. For when I first came back from the great camp of the saints, (who are also very profitable to me)”—upon which he presented the vial of ointment, the purse of gold, and the book on philosophy, which he had received from them—“I was also very zealous for those peculiar ideas about faith, zeal, loving not the world, hating uncleanness, and all that; and I preached that sort of doctrine to them. So now I have it to face. However these presents which they gave me, since I began to give my attention to them, have made a different man of me; and now I personally can enjoy the pleasure of your honorable company.”

Then did Mr. Lying say, “There is one person who must be got out of the way before we can hope for any success, and that is old Sincerity. I know him from of old. He is so ignorant as to worldly standards, still I have never yet known one of our schemes to escape his eye. Then he is so unmanageable he will go and blaze it out before the faithful ones, and go over to the great camp and even work havoc there unless we can forestall his work in some way.”

Then Mr. Policy spoke up and said, “Now we all hate Mr. Sincerity very much, and among ourselves we know that he simply cannot be held in check; but that our moderation and love toward him might appear unto all, we must be careful of the wording with which we speak against him, that the faithful ones may be convinced that we are doing this work in the fear of God.”