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Courtship and Marriage | Ostis B. Wilson, Jr.

Seek the Lord First

I have often thought that if each succeeding generation could take up where the preceding one left off, go on from there and build on their experiences, the human race would be way on up the line. It does not work out that way. Each generation has to learn its own lessons, by its own experiences, so we just keep covering the same ground over and over.

It seems strange that we would develop an attitude such as this in regard to our marriage, when the teachings and admonitions of God’s Word are so explicit on this line. When God’s Word says to not steal, we readily grasp the idea that stealing is wrong and we are committing sin if we steal. The same with lying or any other common sins, which God’s Word implicitly declares on the contrary. Somehow, we get the idea that our marriage is a private, a personal affair into which no one else, even God Himself, has any right to intrude, and we will handle it as a personal, private matter as we see best; however, there is much more said in God’s Word about marriage than there is about stealing, lying, etc. We cannot disregard that and play fast and loose with God and His Word in that area and expect Him to bless us in it.

“Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him.”* (Psalm 37:5-7) We see here that God has His plan for our lives and wants us to seek His Divine will in all of our plans and all that we do. This certainly applies to your marriage as much as anything in your life. God wants you to commit your way to Him, trust Him, and wait patiently for Him in this important matter. When a spark has been lit and two prospective marriage partners have set course in that direction, it is very difficult to wait, but you will always be glad that you did. There are some great rewards promised here to those who commit their way unto the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

“Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them.”* (Ecclesiastes 12:1) We see here that God wants to get hold of us, get our lives in His hands early so He can plan for us, and guide us through the uneven, unsettled period of our lives called youth. It will save us from many heartaches, sorrows, and troubles on down the line if we will permit Him to do this.

We read these words of Jesus, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”* (Matthew 6:33) God help you and me to learn to put first things first, and trust Him to take care of all things pertaining to our lives, including our marriage. The thing of prime importance is to obtain salvation, get God in our lives to guide us, and then let Him guide in our marriage and everything else in life.

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”* (Proverbs 3:5-6) A person may feel that he knows what he wants and does not need anyone else’s help or advice. But God admonishes us not to lean to our own understanding but to trust in Him.

Then also, what does it mean to acknowledge Him in all our ways? It would mean to inquire of Him, earnestly seek His will in any prospective plans and especially in this area of our marriage, because of its importance, and commit our way to Him. He said if we would do this in all of our ways He would direct our paths. Surely Divine guidance is much needed in the area of marriage because He knows the end from the beginning, the future from the past and just how things will work out on down the line. He has told us that it is not in man that walketh to direct his own way. We need to recognize this.

Also, we are admonished to “Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.”* (Proverbs 4:26) Surely in a matter as important as one’s marriage, which is a lifetime contract, one should diligently ponder, consider, pray, think, and project one’s thinking on down the line into the years ahead, even to the mature years of one’s life and how things may be then. If young couples will honestly do this, they will find their marriages solid and established.

The Lord wants our entire life in His hands. Surely He would be particularly interested about having that special area of life which pertains to our marriage and choosing a marriage partner for life. This is a most important thing in one’s life, second only to one’s salvation; it is so closely connected with one’s salvation and affects his spiritual life in such a great way that it is a close runner-up. Certainly our choice of a marriage partner is easily without competition as the most important choice and decision we will make that pertains to our natural, earthly life.