The Wretchedness of Sin
My life has been one of sorrow, pain, and deep cuts. I was adopted from South Korea when I was five months old. I was welcomed by a lovely couple and two older brothers, who loved me as much as they know how. Unfortunately, my new mother had married at 19 and much too immature for the kind of responsibility it takes to be a wife and mother. She battled with depression and self esteem continually, and was often in her room. My father, mainly, raised us children, with the help of other relatives. He tried to raise us the best he know how. We went to church each Sunday and we probably were thought of as as typical “Christians.” We grow up in public schools, watching TV, going to movies, wearing pants, etc. I had a very rebellious spirit, mostly against my mom. I was a chronic stealer. Thank the Lord for taking that out of me! I have no desire to steal whatsoever!
I remember my mom being in her room, while my dad was at work and a maid taking care of us. Although my dad worked a lot, I have many memories of spending time with him. My dad, brothers and I were always alone in family activities, never with my mom, unless we were going to see family members or such. I am very thankful for that time because, after the divorce, I hardly ever saw my dad due to the fact that he had quickly gotten re-married and I was not liked by his new wife. I was about 8 years old, and my mom had told us that she was divorcing my dad. It was a hard time for us all. After the re-marriages, my brothers and I had a strong resentment towards our mother and all that she had done and caused. I went back and forth between homes and finally ended up with my mom. Well, years kept going by. My rebellion kept getting stronger and stronger, as well as my other bad habits. In the sixth grade, I was a little, proud, mean, selfish snob! I was popular and loved to be with my friends. I was hardly at home, but when I was, I was very difficult. I never listened to a word my mom and step-dad told me unless it was to my self-interest. At the end of sixth grade, some friends and I got into some real deep trouble. My parents then decided it best for me to go to my aunt’s house in Mexico to live for about a year. To me, that year was one of the years that I felt most loved at the time.
When I came back, all the old habits came back with me. Fortunately, I had controlled my stealing habit and hadn’t stolen anything for a year. Coming home, I found out that my mom was divorced again, which was a relief to me. Since I never listened to my mom, she was unable to control me, and therefore sent me to live with my aunt and uncle near Salem. They were Christians, didn’t have a TV, they dressed modestly, all the things that were totally opposite from me and how I was raised. Slowly I began to get accustomed to their ways, I was forming new habits, new interests, I was enjoying other godly girls and families that we got together with, etc. Even though I was still rebellious, I knew I needed to obey. The Lord was faithful (and still is faithful!) and was working on my heart during this time. He brought me to a place where I longed to be one of His children. Two weeks before I actually got saved, my aunt asked me what my relationship with the Lord was like, and if I had a desire to live for Him. Well, that is exactly what I needed to really get down to business and repent and get saved. For two weeks, I was constantly praying that the Lord would forgive me of my sins. During those two weeks I was extremely rebellious. As I was diligently seeking salvation, the enemy was working hard to hinder.
Then, it happened, after two long weeks of everyone’s prayers, the Lord saved me! I believed! Finally, my soul was at peace, I felt like I was walking on clouds! The nights that followed were of peace! For hours, after all had gone to bed, I would lay in bed at night singing all the hymns I knew. Now, as the months have gone by, the Lord has totally changed my life around! Instead of wanting to be a rich, single lawyer, I pray that someday the Lord will allow me to get married, have children, and be a homemaker. About a week after I got saved, a lot of my thoughts reflected back to the people I had done wrong to. The Lord has slowly showed me people that I need to make things right with. To this day, I am still trying to make things right with different ones, as the Lord reveals it to me. The Lord has changed my rebellious heart to a heart that wants to do right and is striving to do the will of God, as well as be obedient to my parents. As I compare back to the first months of my being saved to now, I see a miraculous change! Even in the last month, we all have seen a big change in my behavior, character, and spirit. Long ago I used to love worldly music. I used to listen to it all the time and when I came here, it was hard for me not to be able to listen to it. After I got saved, I prayed for victory to overcome this strong temptation. The Lord is good, and He answered my cry! Now when I hear worldly music, I just start to sing a song that is pleasing to the Lord and I feel blessed! The Lord has taken out of me all the worldly desires that I once had. Just recently I have been praying for better obedience to my elders, more respect, and also more patience. The Lord has answered me; He gave ear unto me; He answered my prayers! I thank Him for the miracle He did in my life! I am confident that the Lord will continue to help me in my walk with Him! Praise God! May the Lord bless your efforts in your newsletter!
In His Love,
Skye