The Gospel Standard
The New Testament scriptures on marriage and divorce follow, with some commentary interspersed.
“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)
“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matthew 19:3-9)
The Greek word translated “fornication” (“marital unfaithfulness” in some other translations) in the above two passages is porneia, and can mean pre-marital sexual immorality (fornication) or any type of sexual immorality (fornication, adultery, etc.), depending on its context. Since the Greek word moichao, which specifically means marital unfaithfulness (adultery) is used several times in the same passage, and sometimes in the same sentence, the natural use of porneia here would be pre-marital sexual immorality. Also, the Gospel of Matthew is written by a Jew especially to Jews. They considered betrothal as legally binding, and requiring a legal “putting away” or divorce to break it. The “fornication” referred to would be during this betrothal period, when they were legally bound by Jewish law but not united in marriage in God’s eyes yet. It was exactly this exception that Jesus gives that his step-father Joseph was about to act upon with Mary when the angel stopped him. Notice that no such exception is listed in Mark and Luke, which were written more generally to Gentiles.
In any case, we see that if someone divorces and then marries another, he or she is committing adultery under the Gospel standard. The power to conquer our hardness of heart was not available under the Mosaic Law.
“And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” (Mark 10:2-12)
Here we find that the teaching in Matthew applies to both male and female.
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” (Luke 16:18)
Here is added the teaching that marrying a divorced person—regardless of whether you are single, widowed, or divorced—is adultery.
“Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” (Romans 7:1-3)
This passage is an incidental reference, an example used in a different discussion. However, that it applies to us and is not simply a reference to the old covenant is shown by a repeat reference to it in 1 Corinthians 7, which we will quote from below. Particularly consider the teaching of verse 3—where there is life, there is an obligation and hope (depending on your frame of mind).
I have broken down the seventh chapter of I Corinthians according to Paul’s moving from topic to topic. This is a passage used often to support the teaching of lawful remarriage, specifically the middle portions of the chapter. Consider the context and balance scripture against scripture, including the ones we have just considered. In understanding these scriptures, it is important to understand who Paul is addressing, and also when he is giving commands of the Lord, and when he is giving counsel. The context makes so much difference in meaning, whatever the language.
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)
This is counsel from Paul in an environment where there has been some concern that having sexual relations at all might keep one from undivided attention to the Lord. Paul’s reference to his own gift recalls Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:11-12, and protects the earnest single believer from turning a gift for some into a command for all.
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
Paul repeats the Lord’s command that remarriage is unlawful, and reconciliation is the only lawful return to a married state.
“But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-17)
Paul is again giving counsel, not to attempt to cling on to a partner who wants to leave with the thought that keeping them married to you improves your chances of leading them to salvation. The believer is not the one leaving, and no explicit reference is given to imply that “not under bondage” means that the command in verses 10 and 11 have suddenly become void.
“And so ordain I in all churches. Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.” (1 Corinthians 7:17-24)
This is an expansion upon this idea of remaining as you are; i.e., yes, your lawful husband or wife has left you and is an unbeliever, but your “station” of being committed to them until death is not changed.
“Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:25-38)
Paul is counseling virgins here—the “bound unto a wife” in verse 27 fits into that condition of being betrothed but not yet having consummated the marriage, which was sometimes a long period of time in those days. The remainder of the passage is encouragement to seek the gift that Paul had to remain single if the opportunity was there (i.e., you were still a virgin), and explaining the advantages while again teaching that it was not a command, but a gift.
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40)
Here the same command from Romans 7 is restated.
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4)
“God will judge.” This is a solemn thought and strong warning against lightly regarding the Lord’s standard of marriage.