Help from God in Fiery Trials

When I think of the great mercy and love of God that follows after a soul and remember that He knows all about the thoughts and intents of the heart, truly I stand in awe before Him. Since He knows all and has all power, can we not trust Him when we give ourselves into His hands to be molded into His image to shine for Him?

“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.”* (Matthew 7:21) Everyone who will give all into His hands will be brought through the fire—“And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God.”* (Zechariah 13:9) In telling some experiences in the furnace-flames, I wish to lose sight of everything except to be a help and encouragement to those who are in trial.

In writing my experience, I shall find it necessary to make mention of some of the sad things concerning my husband, a fact which I very much regret. But I trust that dear souls will take warning and realize that there is no limit to the work of the enemy when once he gains possession. I shall never cease to be thankful for the first copies I ever saw of a paper called The Gospel Trumpet. Through my reading them, conviction was sent to my soul by the Spirit of God; but being unwilling to meet the necessary conditions, I resisted the convictions and put the papers aside.

Some months afterwards while searching for something, I came across those papers, and immediately that same conviction returned, but again I resisted it. My health failed, and I continued to decline until I was almost in the jaws of death. Physicians could do nothing for me. During this time God was doing His best to get me to understand that if I would give up He would save and heal me. At last I yielded, and He saved my soul and healed me, and from that day until this, which has been more than eighteen years, I have been fascinated by the charms of a Christian life.

The Beginning of Persecutions

For a long time I did not meet with any persecution in my home, as my husband saw the light of the gospel and believed it to be the truth, but was not willing to walk in it. God followed after him with love and long-suffering. Time after time he resisted the conviction, but finally the Spirit succeeded in breaking up his heart and showed him what he must do to make his wrongs right. He began making a profession of religion, but refused to make all his wrongs right, and in a short time the enemy took possession of him, whereupon he turned against God and against me, and grew worse and worse.

Now the furnace-flames became hot. He was restless and could not be content to stay anywhere very long at a time, and everywhere we went he set about to turn the people against me by telling untruths to gain sympathy. He was very cruel to the children and me.

After we moved to a small town in northern Kansas, these words came vividly to my mind: “Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer.”* (Revelation 2:10) With the cruelty and persecution came a severe affliction. Two doctors pronounced it tuberculosis in the knee-joint. It was so serious that I could not bear to be moved, and when I sat in a rocking chair I was obliged to have something under the rocker to keep the chair from moving. The thoughts of anyone’s coming near my knee made the pains go through my limb. At times I was able to walk some on crutches by being careful. My leg was swollen from above the knee down. At night I had to lie upon my back with pillows under my knee, and I could move neither to the right nor to the left, and sometimes just to cough a little caused almost unendurable pain.

All this happened during the months before a baby girl was born. My family and neighbors did not expect me to live, but God stood by me and gave me this assurance: that as the children of Israel faced the Red Sea with no possible way of crossing, and He divided the waters and let them pass through, so He would in like manner help me. Oh, it was precious to trust Him!

Just about a week before the child was born, the excruciating pain left my knee, but upon my recovery it came back seemingly worse than ever. About three months later the Lord healed the disease, which has never returned. However, I was left a cripple, and have had to use crutches ever since that time.

At this time I had eight children. Two grown boys had gone from home, leaving me to care for the other six. I had a great desire to rear them for God. Thus far I had spent most of my Christian life in isolated places, where I was deprived of church privileges. It seemed that all the hosts of darkness were united against my determination to rear my children under Christian influence. Although I had many things to learn regarding how to do this, yet God was patient in teaching me.

Once when an awful discouragement tried to settle down over me, and it seemed there was no material to work on, I was comforted through the impression that came to me in the words, “God can take a worm and thresh a mountain,” and I have never forgotten these words, the thought of which is expressed by the prophet in Isaiah 41:14-15. I felt that some who opposed me would be glad for me to die so that they could get the children from my influence. Once my husband was threatened with arrest for cruelty, and I feared that my children would be taken from me and placed among my opposers, as one woman had said there were plenty of homes for them. Then the scene of Christ before Pilate came before me and this scripture: “Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above.”* (John 19:11)

At the same time one of the organ keys was down, and we were unable to repair it; so I had said, “We will trust the Lord to fix it.” When the above-mentioned scripture came to me, the organ key raised of its own accord. I said, “Is there anything like that in the Bible?” and quickly came the answer: “The gate opened of its own accord when Peter went out” (Acts 12:10). Joy filled my soul as I realized that the mighty God of heaven was my helper.

At another time I made a carpet which required five years to make by working whenever I could find time to do so. After it was finished and before I had cut it, the Spirit said to me, while I was praying one day, “Send that carpet to Kansas City to help furnish the Missionary Home.” My heart said amen, and God made my husband willing, blessed my soul in sending it, and later gave me a carpet larger than the one I had given. My husband had ceased to allow me to have a way to make money of my own. I was not permitted to have either chickens or eggs. Once I made a hotbed, as plants found a ready sale, and thought I would make a little money in that way, but he found it just as the plants were coming up and destroyed it.

God never failed to bless me when I said amen. At one time when I was in need of a pair of shoes, I went in earnest prayer to the Lord like a child and asked Him for a pair. Soon afterwards I received a letter from a sister in Kansas City whom I had never seen. She was giving her entire time to the gospel work and had a little money in her possession. In her letter she said, “My mind was directed to you last Sunday during the services, and I was impressed to send this money to you.” At another time after praying for some money, I received a dollar. I was in need of so many things that I asked the Lord how I should spend it. This answer came: “Send it to the missionaries in India.” I did so, and in a short time received three pair of shoes for the children, of which they were very much in need. I had many similar experiences.

When our baby girl was about three months old, a dear sister whom I had met and who was living in an isolated place, came to pay me a visit. She remained in that community. After about a year she was eager to grow in grace, and while she was anxiously waiting before the Lord and wishing that she might grow like Sister ——, the question came to her, “Are you willing to pass through what she has had to pass through?” She had a desire to do whatever was necessary, but did not feel that she could very well pass through such severe ordeals. In order to be spiritual and grow in grace, it is not always necessary for people to pass through such severe trials, nevertheless their consecration must be to pass through anything that would be most to the glory of God.

About this time I had an attack of sickness, and for sometime it seemed that I might die. My husband went to visit his sister and left me alone with the children. The sister who had been staying in the community, felt that she must come and stay with me, and when my husband returned, the Lord put it into his heart to hire her for a while. The Lord healed me and made my husband willing for my oldest daughter and I to go to a meeting at Kansas City. This was my last opportunity to enjoy a meeting before entering a much darker vale of trial. Our daughter was saved, for which I praised the Lord. My husband refused to hire the sister any longer, but in answer to prayer consented for her to stay as long as she desired without pay for her services.

In December of that year a dear baby boy was born. The Lord gave me this assurance: “[I] shall deliver thee in six troubles: yea, in seven there shall no evil touch thee.”* (Job 5:19) My husband began planning to go to Arkansas. We had been here three years and were getting our home comfortably furnished, but we learned to take joyfully the spoiling of our goods and to see them sold at a great sacrifice.

One day while I was communing with the Lord, this scripture was vividly impressed upon my mind: “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”* (Proverbs 3:6) At that time there was suggested to my mind the name of a town in Kansas near where I lived during my childhood. I did not understand what it meant, as we did not go there, but I understood later. I had always had an aversion to living in the backwoods, for I knew that the welfare and education of the children would be neglected, but I acknowledged God’s way.

The sister who was with us was willing to stay or go with us. We asked the Lord to open the way if He wanted her to go, and my husband told her that if she wanted to go he would pay her way. There are many experiences through which I passed that I should like to relate—experiences showing the mysterious ways in which the Lord helped us in time of need. I learned that obedience and trueness to God will bring us into a wealthy place.

My husband went about six weeks before we did and secured a location. Upon our arrival we, found that our home for the present was sixteen miles from a railroad, back in the mountains, and that the roads were very rough and rocky. Our house was a very small one built of rough, unhewn logs. There were no windows, only some small shutters which could be opened when the weather was not cold. There were plenty of cracks and the fireplace was a smoky one. Most of the people in that community had lived there from the time of their birth and were poor. The women used tobacco. Some could not read, and morality was at a low ebb.

Soon after being introduced to our new surroundings, I was asked these three questions in succession:

“Are you willing to stay here and work?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Unseen and unknown?”

“Yes.”

“Not even an obituary when you die?”

“Yes.”

There were only twenty acres in cultivation, which required more hard work than eighty acres of ordinary farmland. That fall my husband purchased a hewed log house of three rooms and moved it down between the mountains. It had four whole windows and two half windows, and we never knew before what luxuries they were.

We continued to have Sunday school, as husband had not yet forbidden us to have it. He succeeded in turning most of the people against us by telling the usual stories, only he changed them to suit the people. He often used the same whip for the children and me that he used for the horses. His condition grew worse and worse all the time. The second summer three of the children had typhoid fever. After the first one had been ill for nine days, we sent for a doctor according to the law. He said, “Your little girl has a straight case of typhoid well developed, and it will take twenty-one days for the fever to break, with the best of care, if she lives at all.” I told him that my trust was in God, but he ignored what I said. My husband told him to leave medicine and ordered me to give it, not because he had no confidence in divine healing, but for fear of the law, and to please the people. She had never taken a dose of medicine in her life and wanted to trust the Lord. But I submitted and gave a few doses. God had given me witness that He would heal her, and in three days she was sitting up and was soon up. My husband was very angry because she was healed. About two weeks later she took a relapse and was seemingly worse than ever, but we trusted in the promise, and she was soon all right again. Then two of the others contracted the disease, but they were both healed in answer to prayer.

One day during the summer while I was in the timber praying, a vivid impression came to me that God was going to deliver us out of that place, and the name of the town where we should live was given me. This was the same town previously mentioned, near where I had lived during my childhood. Oh, such rapture filled my soul! I told my daughter, and she said the Lord had been showing her the same thing. This scripture was given to me: “I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end…. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD; and I will turn away your captivity.”* (Jeremiah 29:11,14)

We had never sent the children to school here, as the people were so poor and of such a low grade morally. I taught our children during the winter. At the end of the second summer we began praying for shoes. One day the children came from the mailbox with a pair for my oldest daughter, and then in a few days a letter came from an unsaved woman whom I had never met. She said, “I have some money from the Lord and feel impressed to send it to you. Please write and tell me how to send it.” Then we received from a sister a letter containing five dollars. We had already begun to get ready to go to our future home. We had a catalog, from which we ordered as God gave us the means, and seldom my husband knew anything about it, for he would not have wanted us to have the money had he known it. He seldom noticed how much sewing was going on.

The Lord in many ways encouraged our hearts, for there were fiery trials awaiting us. A neighbor had moved away and hired my husband to dig his potatoes and sweet potatoes. The enemy had such control of my husband that he could not be honest. My daughter helped to dig them, and he told her not to take any pains to get them all, but she did her best. He brought nearly half a bushel of sweet potatoes home and told me to cook them. I prayed to know what to do and received these words, “He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.”* (Psalm 15:4) I told my husband that it was not right to keep the potatoes and that I could not cook them. He flew into a rage and threatened to kill me, and would not allow me to come into the room where the rest were until the light was out and they had gone to bed. It seemed the enemy and all his hosts wanted to take my life. I cried earnestly unto the Lord to give me something to comfort my soul, and He brought to my mind the three Hebrew children.

A week passed and the man returned for some of his belongings. It was dark when he passed, and he was drunk. My husband went out and talked, and no doubt smoothed it over about the sweet potatoes. When he came back, he said to me, “I told you it was all right about those potatoes.”

I did not say anything, but did not feel right about it. The next morning before daylight, he wanted me to cook those potatoes. I refused and told him I could not cook them. Then the battle was on worse than ever. He struck me and wanted me to leave the house, and followed me with a club until I was outside the yard, and then told me to move on. I went out into the timber and remained there, and the children brought me some wraps and something to eat. Then he ordered the sister who was with us to leave, and she packed a few clothes in a suitcase and came down the timber to see me. We parted in good courage. This sister had, before this happened, received many calls to go elsewhere. One call was from her brother, who offered her a good home and support during the rest of her life.

She went to a neighbor who had given her an invitation and stayed two days, and from there to another place, where she stayed a few days and worked for her board. While she was on the way, the Lord gave her this assurance: “Trust in the LORD… and verily thou shalt be fed.”* (Psalm 37:3) While she was there, not knowing what to do next, and being taunted by the enemy because she had not accepted her brother’s offer, the Lord seemed sweetly to whisper to her, these words: “This is the way; walk ye in it.”* (Isaiah 30:21)

She heard of a place where they might need someone. It was very muddy and there was a drizzling rain, but she went. When she arrived at that place, she found they did not need her, but the telephone rang, and a lady who had been one of our opposers asked that she come and stay with her for a while. The scripture had come to her, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”* (Matthew 25:40) The woman turned friend, opened the way for her to communicate with us and to get mail from the people of God. She remained there about a week, when an old lady desired someone to stay with her and gave her a home until the Lord was through with her in Arkansas.

But returning to my experience in the timber: I did not know whether I should be allowed to return home or not; but trusting God, I returned in the afternoon and was not molested, excepting a tongue-lashing. Not long after this our two grown sons came home on a visit, and my husband told them awful things about me, which they believed, and turned against me and doubled the persecution. They searched the house for books, Bibles, and papers, and burned them before us, also pictures of our friends. Then they tortured the little girls, trying to make them promise that they would not be Christians like their mother. Those dear boys who had stood by me in the past! How I thanked God for grace sufficient in time of trial and for the privilege of loving and praying for them.

In July of our last summer there, my eldest daughter said, “I just feel like packing my trunk to go to ——.” It was the town God had shown us should be our home. The next time she went for the mail, there was a letter from a sister in the town, saying that God had taken sleep from two sisters and told them to send for her, and enclosed a check for her fare. She soon afterward went to that town.

Sometime after this, while the second daughter was driving for her father while husking corn, she ran into a stump and broke the wagon tongue. Such an occurrence endangered their lives, but two men coming along just at that time spared her somewhat, and her father sent her to the house. I prayed until my faith rested on the promise for protection. That night after I had gone to bed, God inspired me with beautiful thoughts of heaven, and I got up so softly and took a pencil and paper and wrote this poem in the dark. I cannot refrain from saying here. Praise the Lord for these precious things in time of trial!

My Beautiful Home

Though poets may sing of the streets of pure gold
And talk of its mansions so fair,
After all it is naught; the half is not told
Of my beautiful home over there.

Man’s eye has ne’er seen nor his ear ever heard,
Nor can he e’er picture the scene;
The music’s so rare no one can record
The strains of the faithful, I ween.

Though art has portrayed fair angels of light
In tints that enrapture the mind,
’Tis grander by far in my home ever bright,
Where the glory of God is enshrined.

No; ear hath not heard, and eye hath not seen,
Anything that will ever compare
With the grandeur and beauty of that heavenly scene,
Of my beautiful home over there.

’Tis only by faith that gleams from the land,
Where they need not the light of the sun,
Can brighten the life or lighten the pain
Of those who will hear the “Well done.”

Someday when my toiling and trials are o’er,
I shall see the fair angels of light;
On their wings they will bear me across to that shore
Where my faith will be lost in the sight.

On the night of November 22 the children and I were alone, and I was wonderfully impressed with the scripture in Isaiah 45:2-3. It came to me three times during the day. The next morning, being Sunday, we were still alone. The children were singing “What a Mighty God We Serve,” when I heard a crackling noise and, looking up, saw the house was on fire. I looked to the Lord for presence of mind, and we went to work getting things out. One of the children said, “This is what your scripture was for. Perhaps this is for our deliverance.” I realized the presence of the Lord in the whole affair, and He wonderfully helped us to save all the things of importance, and just as the fire was getting so hot that it seemed we could do no more, a man came along and helped us. There was an empty house nearby, into which we moved.

The people decided to help my husband build another house, and they began work. Thus, it appeared that we should have to remain there always; but the children and I took no notice of it. I told the Lord He knew there was more clothing we needed yet, and asked Him to give me, when it was time, the money to get the goods. In a short time I received it, and we were busy sewing until late at night, and the Lord gave me such a glorious assurance of deliverance.

I had two trunks packed full, mostly with clothing. Husband said one day, “I believe I will trade the place.” I did not know what to say, as I knew God was doing the managing. In a few days he traded it and decided to go about twenty miles north and rent some land. This was about the first of February, and he wanted to start in March. The man who owned the house where we were living, came and wanted it, and so we put up a small tent to live in the rest of the time. It began raining and rained hard the most of the time for two or three weeks. Everything was so damp, but God’s hallowed presence made all things bearable.

My husband planned to take two teams and have me drive one. I knew almost nothing about driving, and the roads were as bad as they could be, up and down mountains, over rocks, and through mud, and I could scarcely make a move of any kind to please my husband. He also decided to take twenty-nine goats, which he intended having the children drive. The morning we started I had been sick all night, and it began raining and the wagon sheet began to leak; but I kept trusting, and it stopped raining. Our first interesting experience was the horses balking in the river. It took about an hour before we got out. No damage was done, however, except that Husband found a roll of papers which I had intended for distribution, and threw them into the river.

We camped near a house that night. The next morning Husband said, “Unpack that box and leave the dishes here, for we are too heavily loaded.” The box had been packed with care and contained some of my best things, and about two sets of dishes which had scarcely been used. He left them with some other things. One of the girls who had walked the day before became ill. We started on our way up a mountain slope, which was a distance of three miles. After we had gone a short distance, my husband said, “I am going back and unload some of these things.” He proceeded to throw out the bedding and other things on the wet ground and, leaving us, went back and left the trunks with the dishes. Both trunks were unlocked and there were so many people who could not be trusted. I had taken the address of the people with whom I left the dishes. We had no clothing left except what we had on our persons, and a few things I had felt impressed to keep out before we left home. The trunks contained all the clothing for our future home, so I believed that God would take care of them.

The roads could not have been worse nor more dangerous. Some places were so steep and one-sided that it seemed the wagon might fall over, and the mud holes were terrible. The team which I was driving gave much trouble, as one mule pulled ahead and the other was slow. Husband expected me to keep them even and drive with one hand, and he quite often gave me a lick with the same club with which he whipped the mules. Two of the children were sick, and the jolts of the wagon were very hard on them. While passing through some of these experiences, the words of Paul came to me, “A night and a day I have been in the deep… in perils [often],”* (2 Corinthians 11:25-26) and the song, “Anywhere with Jesus.” I must say, praise the Lord, for He helped my faith to rise above the situation and healed the children and protected our lives.

My husband failed to find any land to rent or work, so we kept going. Two of the children were still walking and driving the goats. On account of the limited space I can tell but very little of their experiences along the way. One circumstance, however, that gave us much concern was that there were many streams to cross, and at one place by driving the goats along on the mountainside the children would miss having to cross the stream several times, and they were required to take the mountainside. It was steep and above the river. Sometimes they would slide and have considerable difficulty in stopping, and the goats would run up the mountains, jump on rocks, and cause trouble. My husband drove on and would not wait for them at the bridge, which was about a mile from where they started, and it was sometime before I saw them again, a time of great anxiety. It was one of the times when I had to trust the Lord to take care of them.

After the children had driven the goats about two weeks, my husband sold them. One day about four weeks after we left our home, I heard my husband tell a man that he was going to ——. This was the town the Lord had shown me would be our future home. You will remember that our clothing was left behind, so that our appearance was not presentable; but I deepened my consecration and told the Lord that if He wanted us to go in such a plight, I could say amen. Before we arrived, He opened the way for us so that we looked quite presentable, considering the fact that we were traveling. A week before our arrival, I wrote for the trunks to be sent to the town. We arrived in safety. Three weeks after I wrote for our goods, they had not arrived, and so I wrote again. We received a letter from the people saying that they had moved and left the trunks in the house, which was not locked. We gave them the dishes and other things in order to get them to take the goods to the railroad, and upon the arrival of the trunks we found them just as I had packed them.

We were now glad to be with the dear people of God and to know that the captivity was turned. My husband began telling the usual stories, but they were not received even by his own people. He became very miserable and alarmed about his own safety on account of the people. He left the town, and has never been heard from. During these years of trial, many hours of deep concern have been spent with a hope and trust that the dark shades which cover his life may be swept away and that even yet his future life here on earth may be crowned with the blessings of the Lord and the presence of the Almighty. I do not know what the future holds in store, but I am expecting some good things from God, whether or not my pathway is strewn with trials.

In relating this experience, many things could have been told that might have been helpful to others who are passing through similar trials, but these I have been obliged to omit, as there are so many experiences that would not be advisable to publish. I believe that the good part may be a help and encouragement to many who have like trials and that the sad experiences may be a warning to those who trifle with the mercy of God. My dear husband might have been with us and happy today instead of suffering an awful foretaste of the regions of the lost, had he only been obedient to the Lord and walked in the light of His Word. The sister who was in Arkansas is with us, and we are working together for the Lord.

I have humbly submitted everything into the hands of the Lord and have been better able to understand the words of the Psalmist, wherein he said, “Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”* (Psalm 27:11-14)