Seeking Forgiveness Was the Key
When I was about twelve years of age, the teacher asked me to erase the blackboard after school. After I finished, I walked down one aisle between the seats. On one girl’s desk I saw a match box, and in this box was a tiny doll. I had seen her play with this doll and I thought it was the cutest doll I had ever seen. I never had dolls when I was small, as my folks could not afford to buy me one. I would wrap up a stick or something and carry it around for my doll. So this doll attracted me very much. As I looked at it, I wanted it so very much.
Before I tell more about this incident, let us read a Scripture in the Bible which tells us about being tempted to sin. In James 1:14-15, it brings out how it works. “But every man [woman or child] is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” Let us see what the word tempted means. Tempt means “to induce; entice; allure.” The devil works through us to tempt us. First, we are tempted by our own lust. Lust means an “overmastering desire.” Entice means to “attract by offering hope of reward or pleasure.” So we see that the devil will induce us to do wrong by placing an overmastering desire for something, which he convinces us will bring a reward or some pleasure.
Note the next verse says that when this lust or desire for a certain thing is conceived—which means “formed in the mind,” or it is decided by the person that he is going to do a certain thing that is wrong—then that brings forth sin. Now sin is finished [completed] when the act is committed. After the act is committed then it brings forth death to the soul. In other words, sin separates a person from God. That means spiritual death. If a person continues to live in sin, or in spiritual death, and then dies a physical death, he would be eternally separated from God. But thank God, this need not be. The key to being restored to God is found in God’s Word. Since sin has to be punished, we find that Jesus, the Son of God, was willing to come here, live and die and arise from the grave so we can have forgiveness for our sins, as we. with godly sorrow, seek for it.
Now I will continue with the incident in my own young life. First, I want to say that from a child I loved the Lord, and my parents taught me what sin was and I didn’t want to displease the Lord. But I was not above temptations. So when I saw this little doll, I was tempted by the devil. I had an overmastering desire to have that doll, and I was enticed by the hope of the reward of having it for my own, and thought no one would know about it. So quickly I picked it up and took it home. You see, when I let lust, or that overmastering desire, become conceived, or formed, in my mind, and I took the doll, I committed sin. Sin was finished and I was cut off from God. Spiritual death took place in my heart. No longer could I come to God and have communion with Him. Sin had separated me from God. So as the Scripture says, “when it [sin] is finished, it bringeth forth death.”
I brought the doll home with me, but, oh, I didn’t feel good in my heart! I knew I had sinned, and I wished I had not taken the doll, but I had it and was on my way home. I came into the house and my watchful mother saw it. She asked, “Where did you get that doll?”
“Old Tennessee gave it to me,” I quickly said, which was a lie. Another sin was added to my first sin. The devil not only gets a person to sin but he gets them to commit other sins to cover up the first sin. Thus, he leads people on and on, and deeper into sin they fall. (Old Tennessee was an elderly black man who drove a horse and wagon by our home, filled with junk that he had collected. Sometimes, when he would stop and talk to us children, he would give us some of his junk which we would value.)
I took the doll upstairs to my room and put it in my dresser drawer. I didn’t want to play with it. It didn’t look so pretty anymore. My heart was heavy. I didn’t rest very well that night, as I dreaded going back to school. I just knew the teacher would guess that I had taken the doll. To my surprise, nothing was said the next day about the doll. I avoided the girl and hurried home after school. But yet the fact of stealing that doll weighed heavily on my heart. A few days later I took the doll out in the alley and took a brick and smashed it all to pieces and buried it, but that didn’t take away the sin or the guilt. I had sinned against God and was still a liar and a thief. Oh, how bad I felt! I had been taught to pray from a little child, and had always prayed, but every time I would try to pray that sin would come up before me, so finally I quit praying.
School was soon out and a few weeks passed by. Brother John Wilson came to our house from Missouri and held a few nights’ meeting at the chapel. One night he preached on hell fire. Oh, I could almost feel the fire of hell around me! I trembled, but hurried out as soon as meeting was over and the invitation had closed. I went home and to bed as soon as possible, but not to sleep. I rolled and tumbled on my bed. The weight of sin was so heavy on my heart that it seemed the mattress was on top of me instead of me on the mattress. I knew I was on the road to hell. Finally, toward morning, I told the Lord that if He would spare my life until I heard the alarm go off in my parent’s room that I would get up and go ask my father to pray for me to get saved, and I would seek forgiveness for my sins from God. This calmed me, and I lay there waiting. When I heard the alarm, I ran to their room and knelt beside their bed. I began to weep and beg Papa to pray for me to get saved. He prayed for me and I prayed. I asked the Lord to forgive me of my sin of stealing and lying and promised I would make it right. I told the Lord I would tell the girl I had stolen the doll and pay her for it. God took my word for the act and He forgave me and flooded my soul with peace. Oh, I had found the key to peace for my inner longings! The key was a desire to find peace and then obeying God’s Word which said, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) That key opened the lock to my heart and let Jesus come in. Jesus has said, “The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit and they are life.” (John 6:63) Oh, the peace that filled me and I became a new creature in Christ Jesus! I was happy again.
I had promised the Lord that I would make my sin right when school started. So one day I was sitting behind this girl and I tapped her on the back. I told her about my taking the doll and offered to pay her for it. She said, “I often wondered where that doll went to, but I didn’t care anything about it anyway.” I insisted on paying her but she said to forget it. Oh, the relief that I then had because the devil fought my making it right by telling me that she would tell everyone in school about my being a thief. I never heard anything more about it.
Then I had to make the lie right, for I had told my mother and all of my brothers and sisters that old Tennessee had given it to me. One time in family worship I started to tell it and broke down and wept, but kept on telling about it. I asked forgiveness and my father said that they all forgave me. I didn’t know until years later that none of them understood anything I said because I had cried so hard, but I thought they did and that was what counted. I had obeyed the Lord who makes us know that we are to make our wrongs right.
When Jesus came to Zacchaeus’ house and he sought salvation from Him, Zacchaeus said, “If I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.” (Luke 19:8) We must make our wrongs right. If we do, and have repented and confessed our sins, we can hear the same words that Jesus said to Zacchaeus, “This day is salvation come to this house…. For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.” (Luke 19:9-10)
I am thankful to say that this was the only thing that I ever took in my life and it was a great lesson to me. Oh, how wonderful it is to be the Lord’s! If we love and serve Him, we can have peace in our souls. We might have many problems and troubles in this life but if we have peace in our heart and are in contact with God, these things can’t take away our peace and we can face life. The Bible says, “Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble.” (Job 14:1) Troubles will come to us, but if we obey God’s Word, we can have peace in our soul and be ready to meet the Lord when He comes in the clouds of glory.
I do pray that all who may read this will take the key, which is the Word of God, and through obedience use it to unlock your heart and let that Word fill you heart and life, and you will have peace. Every longing will be satisfied as you continue to obey the Word.