Trouble with the Faithful Ones

After some time, the plan was found to be working well in the little camp. Mr. Love-the-World had held his bazaar every day during the time, and had added considerably to his stock. Mr. No-Conscience and Mr. Lustful-Eyes had become quite at home, in fact they had been promoted in the assembly with the assurance that if any of the Sincerity family undertook to give them trouble, that such troublers would be branded as unruly characters, and not only so, but as most unpardonable liars, who had persecuted the faithful; thus they would be put out of action forever. The preachers, Mr. Hypocrisy, Mr. Lying, and Mr. Policy, under the tutoring of Mrs. Apostasy, were busy teaching the faithful ones concerning their past folly and fanaticism, telling them that there was a much broader and easier way than by that of the cross, which always brought reproach and really kept many away who otherwise might be won.

Finally, one day, Miss Vanity noticed that her intendant was looking quite pale, and upon inquiry, found that he had been eavesdropping and had heard a conversation between those unruly ones, Miss Perception, Mr. Steadfast, and his wife, Humility. There was also with them a cousin of Mr. Sincerity by the name of Mr. Holy Boldness; and the conversation had gone thus:

Miss Perception: “I simply can’t see black white, or white as black; it matters not what they say.”

Mr. Steadfast: “No, none of these things move me at all, and I for one will stand against it if it takes me to the chopping block.”

Humility: “I am praying the Lord to shake the scales from the eyes of the little ones, if He has to use an earthquake to do it.”

Mr. Boldness: “Yes. I will pray also, but perhaps there is something we can do to answer our own prayers. Let’s quit ourselves like men, and expose and fight the thing.”

At this, Mr. Hypocrisy had nearly sunk into a swoon, for hitherto he had been overlooking those “insignificant ignoramuses,” as he had always called them.

Upon this news the committee was hastily called together to consult as to what should be done with these troublers. The decision was to tar and feather them as liars and accusers of the brethren; and thus make them an example to the flock. “But,” said Mrs. Apostasy, “things will never be satisfactory until we go in person to the great camp and get the whole camp under our jurisdiction. Now we need not all go at once, but let a delegation of the most expert ones be sent at once. Of course, I will superintend the business, but I think it would not be wise for me to take the pulpit at once, as this gay colored apparel of mine would at first bring a shock over the white robed company. Therefore appoint Mr. Policy to attend me as chief speaker, as we all acknowledge his pleasant manner, his wide knowledge, and his ability at turning his knowledge to best advantage for us.”