Recently, I was very blessed to see many things come together in just that way. For some time I have been struggling with the issue of truly submitting to my husband. I kept thinking, “If only he would do this or that, things would be much better.” Of course, he didn’t, and I got nowhere. I tried and tried, only to run into a brick wall. I knew, to a point, the role I needed to fulfill, but something was obviously missing.
My daughter prints a Christian newsletter, and about this time I received a letter from the mother of one of her subscribers. This very dear lady publishes her own newsletter and through it and some of her letter to me, I could see that she was being the submissive wife I longed to be. Anyway, for the next few months I kept fighting with this. The relationship with my husband grew more strained and distant. About this time my family went on a week long camping/hunting trip. While the others were away at camp, I had a lot of quiet time to pray and seek. Much to my shame, I had noticed for some time the submissive attitude of my daughter and I asked myself again, “What am I missing?” “Trust” was the answer God gave me. Trust in my Father above. Now I knew this in my head and I did trust Him in many areas. But the Lord brought this into my heart and I can now say to Him, “You are in complete control of all things. I don’t have to worry or struggle or try to manipulate things to how I think they should be because You are bigger than any problem, any circumstance.” What peace and joy and freedom this brought!
But there was still one problem. Because of some ongoing problems, I had some wrong feelings and attitudes towards my husband. What was I to do with these, how was I to get past them? One night, a couple days later, while lying awake in bed, God gave me these words, “Abide with Me.” I was looking at circumstances—they were draining me and dragging me down. I needed to abide in the Father, which is to continue in Him, which is to persist without pause. My whole being is to be centered on the Lord.
The other aspect of this is God’s love. Without His love in my heart, I cannot properly love others. It’s easy to love the pleasant traits, but difficult to accept the unpleasant ones. His love can do both. Proof of that is “in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
I realize that God will not reveal these truths to our hearts until He knows the time is right and we are ready. I was finally ready, and again, what freedom I felt! I had been carrying around a burden that was not mine to carry. How foolish and blind; yet I hadn’t understood and I hadn’t been ready to completely lay aside self.
When we arrived back home, waiting in the mail for me was a magazine. The lady I mentioned earlier had it sent to me and much to my amazement, the topic was wifely submission! There were several articles discussing this and clearly outlining what it is, and the harm a wife does to her husband when she doesn’t submit. It fit—all too well. The things I wanted to change in our marriage were good changes—my desires were right, but I was destroying the very thing I wanted to change. True, deep, real change comes from the Lord and it was me He changed! Praise God! I find it so interesting and funny how God will work in paradoxes. Thankfully He does work.
To the young ladies reading this… you have the opportunity to learn this truth now, if you haven’t already. I didn’t become a Christian until I was about 26 and it’s taken me 14 years to learn this. What heartache and time have been wasted, but I have to “look ahead” as the apostle Paul says. Even if your home life is not all that it should be, submit to your parents, as unto the Lord… for He knows the plans He has for you.
Thank you, Michelle, for sharing your experience and how the Lord has helped you. I am reminded of a time when the Lord got it over to me that my husband couldn’t hear what the Lord had to tell him, if I were always busy talking about a certain change I wanted. The Lord taught me it was much better to pray and let the Lord talk to him about it.
We invite others to share what the Lord has done for them. Each life is full of experiences. We want to be of profit one to another.