From Life’s Story and Healings
Nellie’s Vision
I wish to relate a dream or vision I had while we were living near Neosho, Missouri. I do not remember the exact time, but I was about seventeen [c. 1907].
I saw lives of many companions ruined by marrying one who promised to love them and then were left alone, deserted and brokenhearted, and I became afraid to think about getting married, lest I, too, be left alone and deserted. It seemed one did not know whom to trust, and I feared many or maybe most of the men had become unsafe to trust. In this state of mind and feeling so sorry for some of my friends, I decided I would remain single and be happy with, and help care for, my parents and live for God. But I was forgetting to let God lead in all things and was setting up my own plans. Through a fear of the disappointment of the future I had my mind fixed. But our dear Lord is faithful to His children and will help us if we let Him. It was while in this condition I had this dream, or dreams.
About two o’clock in the morning I saw a young man appear to me. It was a head and shoulders with about half of the upper part of his body. He was smiling and looking at me. He never said a word; but I knew he wanted to tell me something, and as he disappeared I awoke. I did not know what to think; for me to have a dream like that, and I could not think of any one I had seen or known who looked like that. I prayed about it and soon went back to sleep and never thought any more about it. I did not even think of it the next day, so it could not have been on my mind to cause me to dream about it further. But the next night at the same time the same young man appeared the same way and as before, he disappeared. I awoke. I was somewhat troubled this time. I began to pray mightily. I told the Lord I did not understand this and if He wanted to get something to me, to help me to know, or, if the enemy was working in dreams to bother me, to rebuke it. I prayed for some time and then lay down and went to sleep, and, as before, I never thought of it anymore. But the next night at the same time I dreamed that I was at a big camp meeting. We were having a good meeting and a minister in my dream, a very close friend of ours, came to me and wanted me to come to one of the saints’ homes and meet a young man who wanted to get acquainted with me, and who wanted a Christian companion. He continued to tell me how this young man from the old country was not accustomed to dating and courting as we were and he wanted me to go make his acquaintance. I told him I was not seeking to get married, but he said, “You can get acquainted.” I did, and it was the one I had seen the two previous nights. As I sat down to talk in my dream, it was not long before arrangements were made for marriage. In my dream I saw myself walk down the church aisle and was married to this young man by this preacher before a large audience. As the marriage vows were finished I awoke and sat up in bed. It had all been so real it seemed as if it had happened. I thought, “Since I did not know the preacher and I did not know the young man, what could this mean?”
Then I realized I had not asked God about my life in the future. I was planning it myself. On my knees in earnest prayer to God I promised to seek Him to guide my life. I said, “Man can be so deceptive: we are not able to know the heart of man, but Thou canst, and while I do not feel able for such a thing as to choose a life companion, yet if You can get more glory out of my life married than single, it’s Your life; but You will have to do the choosing.” I prayed and thought about the details of the dream until the rest of the family awoke. While I could not understand it, I felt God wanted a submission of my life to His will, which I renewed to God that morning. My mother felt it was a vision of my future.
A sister whom the Lord used to help us find His people was Sister Nola Porter. It was not long after this until these folks rented a building in town just a few blocks from our place to hold a meeting, and told us an evangelist, Brother W. H. Shoot was coming to hold the meeting. My mother, sister, and I went. Father was not feeling well and was not able to go.
We walked in and sat down near the front. They had a platform up in front and a row of seats behind the pulpit where the ministers and workers sat. Just before the meeting started, a young man walked in and up the aisle to the platform and sat down. I had never seen the man before and had not met him, but as soon as I saw him I recognized him as being the one who in my dream at Neosho had introduced me to, and later married me to, the young man that appeared to me. A strange feeling came over me and I said to myself, “O Lord, what does this mean?” But I sat quietly, thought, and listened closely. The preaching was wonderful and with power. After meeting we were introduced to Brother Shoot, but no one knew what was going on in my mind, and I did not know what to think, myself.
After we had started home, my sister and mother were talking about the meeting and how much they enjoyed it. My sister said, “Nellie, how did you like the meeting? What’s the matter, you have not said a word?”
I said, “Oh, the meeting was good, I enjoyed it; but that preacher is the one I saw in my dream at Neosho who introduced me to that young man, and we were married.”
She said, “He is?”
Mother said, “We may find the young man around somewhere.”
Now this had been around six or seven years since I had had the dream.
We had a good meeting. Some souls were saved and several received help. Bro. Shoot moved to Carthage and was pastor of the congregation. We became very close to him and his family. Father was in poor health and they were in our home much of the time. The work grew and God blessed, but we never mentioned a word to Brother Shoot about the dream. It was a secret between God and me, for God to work out as He saw fit.
I had felt for some months we should go to the Oklahoma State Camp Meeting the summer of 1928. Plans were being made for us to go when we were at Searcy, but we moved out in the country, and I could not get work. I said, “Lord, if You want me to go, You’ll have to open the way.”
The man my sister married was a widower and had some grown children. That summer a son and his family came to see them. A short time before they were to leave, the son was talking about their trip home and their going through Oklahoma. I asked what part, and he said they would go through Tulsa. That was where Brother and Sister Barton lived. Edith, my sister, asked them if they would have room for an extra passenger. He said they would have room for one and to be ready to leave Sunday. I had about two days to wash, iron, mend, and pack. I had worked hard Saturday and packed my suitcase and had everything ready to go. I really felt God wanted me to go and was very happy for the way.
His wife was not there when he said I could go and get ready. She was spending the last few days with her folks, a few miles from us. Late Saturday afternoon just after I finished getting everything together, they drove in, and the son said, “Nellie, I have bad news for you. We are not going to have room to take you. I am sorry, but my wife did not know about your wanting to go and she told a man, a friend of ours, he could go. He has a job back there and had no way to go but hitchhike. He is going to work and get money to send for his family. She told him he could go. We talked it over, and since he is a man with a family we’d better let him go; yours is more a pleasure trip.”
I told him that it was all right.
He said, “I am sorry to disappoint you, since you wanted to be in the meeting.”
I said, “That’s all right. If the Lord wants me in the meeting He can make a way for me yet. I am glad for the man to go and get work.”
I was so sure I could not go with them I went in to unpack my suitcase, but company came and stayed so late I did not get it done that night. The next morning by the time the work was done it was time to go to Sunday school. So we just left the suitcase packed. Sunday school was over and we were all out in the yard ready to go home when someone came up to Lawrence (that was the name of the son) and said something to him. I was standing nearby but did not know the man and paid no attention to them.
Lawrence said, “Nellie, did you hear that?”
I said I did not.
He asked if my suitcase was still packed and I told him it was. He said the man who was going with them had received a message that changes were made, he had no job, and for him not to come, so that left the place open for me. He thought that the Lord must have wanted me to go because I had said the Lord would open a way for me if He wanted me to go.
I said, “All right, but I am sorry the man lost his job.” We went home, ate dinner, and loaded the car. We were soon on our way.
The Barton’s gave us a hearty welcome. We enjoyed our visit there and I shall never forget it. While I was there Sister Barton and I were talking about things; my sister getting married, and so on. I asked her to pray for God to give me someplace where I could be in meetings and get work to care for myself as I could not at my sister’s since she lived out in the country.
Sister Barton said, “He will give you a home, but it may be in the way of a man.”
I replied that I did not care to get married.
But she said, “That may be God’s way to give you a home.”
I scarcely knew what to think or say, but said no more, she seemed so sure.
At the camp meeting, the young people’s meeting was at 9:30 a.m., just before the morning service. I had been attending these services. One morning after the meeting was over, some of the young people came to me and asked if I would like to go to town with them. They had decided to walk to town before the next service. The service had been short that morning and they had a little more time than usual. I looked at the time and saw we could not get back until after the next service would be under way so did not go. As I sat there in the tabernacle I noticed a few moments later that all the young people had left. No one was there except Brother W. H. Shoot, who came in just before the young people’s meeting had closed and was sitting across the tabernacle. An old man, a stranger had come, also, and sat on a bench just outside the tent. I was very bashful and timid and when I saw I was alone I rather hated to sit there for that length of time, so I dropped my head in meditation as to what to do. It was very hot outside and I did not have time to walk to my room and be back in time for service, but decided to go out and walk a couple blocks or so and come back about time for the people to begin to gather. I reached to pick up my books to leave as Brother Shoot walked to the seat in front of me. As he did he said, “Good morning, Sister Nellie.” I had not noticed him coming, I was so absorbed with my thoughts until he spoke. He said, “I would like to talk to you a little if you have no objection. I have been praying God to give me a chance to talk to you if He wanted me to, for three or four days and now since we are almost alone I felt it was a good time.” I consented, asking him what it was.
At the same time the enemy was accusing, “Now you see you have done something wrong.” I had no idea of what I had done. I learned the enemy is an accuser of the brethren and he will accuse of something wrong but not locate the wrong. When God condemns He shows just what one has done wrong. I had an open heart and if I had done wrong I wanted to know what it was and was anxious to know.
To my great surprise, when I said, “What is it?” he answered, “Sister Nellie, you know I came home from a trip in California just before the Oklahoma City Camp Meeting. Well, there is a young brother there I am acquainted with who is a Greek. This last trip I stayed in his home with him. He feels the Lord is going to give him a Christian companion and he prefers an American girl, as he feels she could be more help to him than a Greek. The Greeks are most all of the Orthodox religion. They do not know about the Bible way and he wants a Christian woman to be a help to him. He speaks broken English, but is a nice looking, strong, young man. He has a job and has bought a nice little four-room cottage and furnished it. He is living there, expecting God to give him a companion. While I was there this time he told me about it and asked me to pray about it with him, and as I traveled about I might meet someone I could help him to get in touch with. As you were standing talking to the young people the other morning I sat down across the tent and the Lord spoke to me, ‘There is Brother Gus’ wife.’ I said, ‘No, Lord, you know how she is so reserved and is never seen going out; how could I talk to her? I am sure she would say no.’ But again, ‘That is Brother Gus’ wife.’ I said, ‘Lord, you know what a poor place this is to talk to anyone alone, and if you want me to talk to her give me a chance so I will not have to embarrass her, by speaking to her so others might wonder what we were talking about.’ I do not know where everyone is this morning; but God said, ‘I have made the way,’ so I am telling you. This is not matrimony. I am asking, if God opens the way for a company to go to California, as we hope to do this fall—Brother and Sister C. E. Orr and myself—would you go and stand a chance to meet this brother? Or, if the company does not go, would you consent to correspond with him? I do not want you to answer me now. You pray about it and give me an answer before the meeting closes.” He went on to say that this brother, being a Greek, many of their customs and ways were different to ours and if we met he would be ready to talk about what was on his heart and mind and not wait to get acquainted and court. “Now I have done what I felt God wanted me to do, and it’s left up to you. Will you promise me you will pray before you give me an answer? Not just think it over?”
I said, “Yes, I will,” not knowing what else to do, but feeling in my mind that I did not see how it would go any further. I realized why the young people had decided to leave without a reason and why I did not go; God had ordered it that way. I was so surprised at Brother Shoot’s talk, and I never once thought of the dream I had years ago about getting married. The morning service soon started and the words, “There is Brother Gus’ wife,” and then, “Will you promise to pray about it?” kept coming to me. I was in trouble! “What does this mean?” I would ask myself. Meeting was at last over. I admit I did not remember much of what had been said, even as hard as I tried. My mind would again be interrupted with the words the Lord had spoken through Brother Shoot, “There is Brother Gus’ wife; will you promise to pray?” I found myself anxious to get away and pray, for I could not understand. The dinner bell rang, but I went to my room—my heart more disturbed all the time.
I wanted to talk to the Lord. I went and fell on my knees. It seemed I did not know how to pray, but I burst into a flood of tears and said, “Lord, what does this mean? I need you; help me, and calm my troubled soul.” As I continued to wait on God I told Him how I wanted to do His will, that I did not want to rebel, but He knew I was not seeking an earthly companion. I asked Him to comfort my heart, and as I promised Brother Shoot to pray, for Him to give me an answer to give him. I did not want to consent to write to him for fear it would lead to marriage. As I said this, the Lord began to talk very definitely to me.
“Correspondence is not matrimony. Did you not promise if I chose you a companion you would accept? And how do you know this is not the one?” Then my dream all came afresh to me. I sat back on the floor and thought. It was the camp meeting where I heard about him and it was Brother Shoot that told me about him in my dream, and he was of a different nationality. Then Sister Watson (Key) said last January, God was going to give me a companion. Sister Barton, on my way to the camp meeting said God was going to give me a home, but it might be in the way of a man. And again, “Correspondence is not marriage. Don’t say no; give God a chance. If you want to refuse, you could later. Be careful.”
I got up, washed myself and looked at the time. The afternoon service was going on. I did not realize I had been there so long. I got ready and went on to service.
The next day or two passed. I think it was the last Saturday of the meeting Brother Shoot came to me and said, “Sister Nellie, we are not able to arrange the trip to California as we had hoped. Brother and Sister Orr cannot go at this time. But I plan on leaving soon after this meeting and I will see Brother Gus in about two or three weeks from now. What shall I tell him?”
I had not only prayed that afternoon but I was still praying for God to make His will plain and work it out. I said, “After much prayer and what you said I have decided it will do no harm to correspond. That is not saying I will marry.”
He said, “That is right, and I feel sure you have done the right thing.” It seemed a feeling came over me that God was working and was going to provide for me.
On the way home, I stopped for a few days to visit an old-time friend we had known since I was a child. She was very close to us and interested in my welfare and that of the family. While there and talking of the family affairs I felt I should not keep my secret of the future and told her what had happened at the camp meeting and that I did not know what the outcome would be. She said, “Nellie, it surely is the Lord. You have been faithful to your home and parents; now Edith has married and you are alone. I think it would be wonderful. You need someone to help you and be with you. We have been praying God to give you a companion and so have your father and mother. I had a letter from her since you have been away. Oh! She will be glad to hear it.” Before I left she gave me material for a new dress and other things to help me get ready for my trip, for she felt sure I would soon go, and asked me to let her know what I did.
I went on home and told my parents what happened. They felt sure it was of the Lord; but still I did not know what to really think, so I went to fasting and prayer and asked the Lord if it were His will, to work it out so I would know it without a doubt. If it were not His will to hinder it in every way. I fasted most of the time for three weeks, going as much as four days at a time without food or water.
In about two and one-half weeks I received a letter. I believe in the third letter I received, he asked me if I would come to California if he would send me a ticket. He was working and it was hard for him to get away. He could send the ticket and we could meet each other and get acquainted and talk over the future better than writing. He had made arrangements for a sister minister with whom I was acquainted to meet me and take me to her home, if I would come. It was at first a big step to go so far away and among strangers, and not even know anything about the man or his ways whom I was going to see.
But by this time I was definitely sure it was the will of the Lord for me to go. I wrote and told him I would go, and began making arrangements for the trip to California. Of course, there was nothing definite about our getting married. No one knew there might be any such thoughts except my father and mother and sister. My brother-in-law did not even know it, but he was a great hand to tease. When we told him I was expecting to make a trip to California he just supposed I was going for meetings. He asked how soon I would be leaving. I told him they wanted to know if they sent me a ticket if I would go, and I wrote them I would, so if I got the ticket it probably would not be long. He wanted to know how long I planned to be gone. I told him I did not know. He laughed and said, “Oh, you will go out there and meet some good looking man and never come back to live here. What do you say?”
I said, “It could be possible.” He never once thought of my doing it.
I finished getting ready, and early the morning of October 1, 1928, I bade farewell to my folks and got in the car with a neighbor who was taking me to the train to start on my long journey to California; not knowing altogether where I was going, but I knew the Lord said to go.
I arrived at my destination, the morning of October 4th. The sister met me at the station and took me to her home. I was very tired after the long journey. The last night on the train there was a big snow storm in the mountains. Something went wrong with the heating system and we were some hours without fire. Almost everyone on the train took severe colds and coughing. The sister prepared a good hot meal. After eating and visiting a while, she put me to bed to rest.
That evening after Brother Gus, as they all called him, came home from work, he ate, dressed, and came over to meet me. So far everything had worked according to the dream I had at Neosho and now I was about ready to really meet him. He came in and I was introduced to him. He was exactly the same man I had seen, only his hair was a little darker. How could I doubt it was God picking a companion for me? Although I had never met him before, he did not seem like a stranger to me. We sat down in the living room together and all talked awhile. The sister and her husband used to live back east and he was quite interested in asking about the meetings I had attended and the different ones he knew, but Brother Gus had little to say.
After while the sister took us to a room to ourselves where we could talk and be alone. He soon began to tell me he was glad to meet me and how he had prayed God to give him a Christian companion. When Brother Shoot came back and told him about me, he decided he would like to meet me and talk things over, and if we did not feel it was of the Lord for us to come together, all right, but if we felt it was of the Lord we could make arrangements better than by writing. He went into detail about his desire for a companion and why he preferred an American girl; how he had prayed even after he wrote me and asked God to make me not willing to come if I were not the one for him and to make me willing if I were the one. Different things he had asked God to work out if I were the one, God had done so in answer to prayer every time.
He asked me to express myself if I had any answers to prayer. I told him briefly of how I prayed at the camp meeting and since, and I felt it was of the Lord for me to come and that I had a dream when I was a girl living at Neosho, Missouri of meeting a young man.
He said, “Am I the one?”
I said, “Yes, when I met you tonight you looked exactly like the one, only your hair is a little darker than his was.”
He said, “Sister, surely God is in this. At that time I was in Greece and my hair was lighter, just as you have described. You lived at Neosho, Missouri, at the time of the dream and Brother Shoot was living on a claim in Colorado. None of us knew anything about the other. Now here we all are in California together. It is a miracle the way He has brought us here.” We had been in the room talking for a long while when we came to this point. At this time he asked me if I were willing to be his life companion.
After all was fixed and settled that it was of the Lord, he suggested we just make arrangements for the wedding and get married right away. He was alone and I was away from home and it would make it better for both of us. I was a little surprised at making all arrangements at once, but decided it would be all right. We thought we could have a quiet wedding, as I was a stranger and didn’t know the people, or just where arrangements could be made to have the wedding. We called the sister who was waiting in the living room, to help make arrangements. At first she could scarcely believe we had things fixed for a wedding. Upon convincing her we had it fixed, she said God had really planned it before we met. They had a little chapel in San Bernardino and at once she suggested we be married there since all the saints there, and many of the men he worked with, would want to attend. Brother Shoot was to hold a meeting starting in a few days so October 14th, at 4 p.m., following the Sunday afternoon services, was set as the time for the wedding and a reception following at his home. The next ten days were busy days getting ready for the wedding.
We did not expect very many at first, but soon learned that a number of old acquaintances who had moved to California, now lived in Los Angeles, Whittier, and Glendale. When my old friends learned I was out here and planning to marry Brother Gus, who was very well known, we had a large crowd for a small building. The day of the wedding was a beautiful day and it was estimated there were two hundred or two hundred fifty present.
I want to say right here, God has blessed our lives together and after thirty years we are much closer to each other than when we started life together. Although we were happy then, we are much closer now. Each year weaves a new link that binds us closer to each other.
He did not kiss me until after we were married although he saw me and was with me every day after my arrival, going places, buying things, making arrangements and doing things for the wedding. One evening, a day or two before we were married, he said, “I have not asked you for a kiss nor do I intend to until after we are married. Then you will be mine and we can kiss as often as we want to.”
I said, “That is all right.”
He told me after we were married that he did not care to be kissing me before we were married, and he was afraid I would have refused him if he had asked.
This looseness in courtship and lying in each other’s arms and kissing is not good. Many a precious young person’s downfall has started in being too free with a friend. Keep yourself in your place and if you get married you have a lifetime to love each other, and if you don’t, you are better off, for we need to know how to control our affections.
I want to say to young and old, it pays to wait on God. Don’t get in a hurry. When you get in a hurry it is often lust instead of love and that will not stand the storms of life, but love will. If you are a Christian you may say, “Oh, there are so few Christians and these people I am attracted to claim to be saved.” The question should be, “Is God in it?” If not, wait on the Lord. If you are a Christian, you are not your own, and should be willing to submit your life into the hands of One who sees and knows the future. Some say, “I do not want to be an old maid.” You had better be an old maid if God does not have it otherwise, than to marry some unsaved man who may desert you for another. In that case you’d be left alone anyway and may backslide and lose your soul. When you choose your way on any line you cannot have the favor of God on your life as you would have if you let Him choose. You had better live twenty years together and be happy than to be together fifty years and be unhappy. Let us quote Brother C. E. Orr:
When two are in love, it is difficult to determine the will of God. There needs be a perfect yielding to the will of God. It is one of the most difficult periods in the history of man for him to yield his will to God. Many have thought they had, but were mistaken. A young man says, “I thought I had my will entirely surrendered to God, but when I prayed and my lips said, ‘Lord Thy will be done,’ my heart said, ‘But give me Betty.’ ” Watch your heart, young Christian. Do not give too much heed to what the lips say. Listen to the heart beats. Does it beat in perfect unison with the will of God?
God wants you to be guided, not by your feelings, but by His providences, by the counsels of true friends, and by the good, sound mind He is willing to give you.
[Charles E. Orr; The Instruction of Youth in the Christian Life, “Courtship and Marriage”]
Here is a poem my father composed just after I left home to get married.
Nellie’s Departure
Dear Nellie was the last to leave our parental fond embrace,
And to choose another in our place.
But at last she has gone to the Golden West,
Where she has found a cozy nest.
Where oranges bloom and flowers and fruit abundant grow,
Away from winter’s cold bleak winds of ice, sleet, and snow.
There she him did find,
Who is with her of one faith, one heart, one mind.
So Gus and she may be a blessing to those they meet,
In private homes or crowded streets;
By living a pure and holy life,
Above this world of sin and strife.
And so we wish them joy and peace and love,
At last a home in heaven above.
In life we wish them health and golden store,
How can we wish them anymore?
I want to relate an incident that happened much later, for the encouragement of others. A girl in our congregation grew to the age of desiring a companion. She was a good Christian girl and we all loved her. There were very few young people in California at that time, who were saved, and if one got saved he or she almost had to stand alone as far as young people were concerned. One day she came to me and talked to me about her burden. She wanted to live for God and if she did it looked like she could not have a home of her own, for there just weren’t any Christian boys. After talking I said, “Sister Alta, put God first.” She said that was what she wanted to do. I said, “God knows the future and when He sees you need a companion He can provide you one. When He saw Adam needed a companion He created him one and He can save one just for you if you keep all submitted to Him.” She said that was just what she meant to do, and she did. We had prayer and asked God to help her and provide for her future life for her good and to His glory. Time went on and she continued to live for God. One day her brother came to town to visit them. He had with him a young man who was practicing to be a prize fighter and had come to town to take lessons for fighting. Prayer meeting night came and her mother, Sister Davenport, asked them to come to meeting. They did, but the young man had never been in a meeting like it. Sister Davenport, being a great hand to invite folks to meeting, asked him to attend Sunday night services. He liked our way of having meeting and began attending regularly. When we held a revival, a short time later, he got saved, gave up his training, and really lived for God. Later his affections were turned to Sister Alta, and in time they got married. As he grew spiritually and learned of the doctrine of the church, the Lord called him to the ministry. His wife has told me, “Sister Poulos, you said God could give me a companion if He had to save one just for me, and it seems He did just that.”